I've always been a sucker when it comes to holidays like Christmas, Halloween, and even Easter. I don't know what it is exactly, but there's something about an opportunity to decorate with silly seasonal items that I've always enjoyed. That is until I had the boys. Now I have so little energy and spare time that my holiday enthusiasm has been seriously curtailed. I never even took my Halloween stuff out of storage this past year, and I only took out about half of my Christmas stuff too.
So this Easter I've really had a hard time mustering any enthusiasm of any kind. (Of course my estrangement from the Catholic church doesn't help things, but that's another post.) I didn't even bother getting anything for the boys because let's face it they are completely clueless about clebrations and gifts at this point in their lives. So far this Easter season they have gotten one gift from Max's godfather, some stuffies and little toys in a bucket, and the only thing they liked was the plastic bucket the gifts came in.
The other thing that is bugging me is that I've noticed that M's family, which used to enthusiastically give Easter baskets to everyone in past years for some reason stopped doing anything at all last year. But I still get their kids stuff because I know they've come to expect it and that they would be disappointed if Aunt Lola finked out on them. So I've seriously scaled back on the baskets and junk this year, and I'm dreading when Max and Nathan get old enough to ask me why their Aunt and Uncle's kids get stuff but they don't. Of course I know that my parents and sister have gone completely nuts getting the boys little toys and gigantic stuffies this year, and that they will every year. So I know I can always count on them to come through for the boys regardless of the occasion.
Uggh, I don't know why I let this stuff get to me. I really don't. I guess it just seems like the stakes are so much higher now that I have my own children I have to worry about not ruining. And I just dread the idea that in the future there will be things in their life that might hurt them, things that I have no control over and can't shield them from.
Oh well. Better get back to my Easter basket building while the boys are still napping. Happy Easter/ Passover/ Spring everyone!
I so hear you about finding the energy to get ready for Holidays. I was a total holiday junkie too but since the boys I am finding the decorating a little difficult. I did do the easter thing eventhough the boys are to little yet (chocolate for mom! LOL).
I also hear what you say about shielding the little ones from hurt in the future. If only we could. I am also terrified that we have passed our fertility issues on to them too. :(
Take care and enjoy your little ones
Posted by: soralis | April 18, 2006 at 12:34 PM