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October 03, 2004



I'm so sorry. I will admit that I haven't been out with anyone in ages because I just don't want to hear their assvice or the urban legends because I'm that urban legend that nothing works for, that there will not be a happy ending for. People just can't seem to accept that and I'm tired of explaining it because it hurts me more. If they're real friends they'll still be there when I'm ready, if not oh well.

Thinking of you.


I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I HATE the urban legends because I'm secretly a sucker for them. Right before we went to the RE for the first time i secretly told myself, THIS will be the month we get pregnant, 'cause this is how it works. And I started my period on the day we went to the RE. Right before we started IUI, i furtively convinced myself that THIS will be the month we get pregnant but I didn't. NOw, as I await laproscopic surgery at the end of this month, (after 3 failed IUI's), I'm supressing the subconscious belief that THIS will be the month that we get pregnant 'cause this is how it works. So, I feel your pain with the urban legend success stories. Maybe you should spend more time with your childless friends? The two couples we spend time with are both pregnant, actually one is in labor as I write this and the other due in December. My other friend is TTC and hopefully it happens soon but on the other hand, I will have no childless friends. I need to make some childless friends. I never in a million years would think I'd be saying somethin like this.
Well, I'm thinking of you and sharing your frustration and pain (as much as I can, in my own way.)


I've been where you are, and that's why I started my blog. It had just gotten to the point where I knew so few people without kids or who weren't expecting, I felt like I was going to frigging explode if I had to keep dealing with them with no outlet. That's why I'm so glad to have *met* you and all the rest of the girls. I may not ever be able to get my effortlessly fertile friends to understand a damn thing about what I've gone through, but at least I know you girls are out there, and you get it. And you can be damn sure that if I'm lucky enough to stay pregnant right now (yeah, I'm totally paranoid) I will NEVER be like that crazy ass woman at your table who forgets what it was like. I don't even know how that's possible?!

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